Ron parked his bike in the car park and sauntered over to the entrance of the Village Hall. The disco was well underway. He could see the multi-coloured lights flashing on the closed curtains and Gary Glitter's 'D'you wanna be in my gang' was blasting from the speakers. He straightened his waistcoat, held himself up straight and walked tall into the throng.
Once his eyes had gotten used to the lighting he looked around for his date. After a while he noticed her standing at the bar with her back to him. She was wearing what Ron thought was a very pretty flowery dress and her long blonde hair fell down her back and seemed to shimmer everytime she moved her head. The disco was too loud for Ron to call her name so he started to make his way across to her. Suddenly, to his disgust, a dark haired man came from the direction of the toilets and joined her, putting his arm around her shoulders and kissing her on the lips. Wot the 'eck's going on... thought Ron to himself. He screwed up his eyes and stared in the dim lighting. It's Steve! That dirty toe rag! Wendy was my date. Ron was furious. He roughly pushed his way through the dancers on the dance floor towards the unsuspecting Steve and Wendy. As he reached them Steve turned around only to be caught full on the chin by Ron's swinging fist. Steve dropped like a stone to the floor.
* * *
Steve, Dora and Slugger waited in the Land Rover outside the Police Station for what seemed like hours. Eventually the Colonel appeared and Ron followed behind him like a naughty puppy, his head hanging down and his tail between his legs! The Colonel arrived at the Land Rover and looked in at Slugger. "I've paid the bail money and I've told them that he's under your control until he has to report back to them - sometime next week I think they said." Ron stood silently, his head still bowed. "Don't worry Colonel sir, I've got plenty of work ready for him - he won't have time for troublemaking." The Colonel looked at Ron and then at Dora and Steve, who he noticed had smirks on their faces. He spoke sharply to Ron. "Now you had better behave yourself Stryker - and this is the very, very last time I get you out of trouble. The next time you'll be sacked." The Colonel went over to his car and drove off. He sighed, knowing that this wasn't the first time he had threatened Ron with the sack, and that it probably wouldn't be the last!
The Land Rover pulled into the farmyard and Ron was the first to get out, slamming the door hard behind him. He went into the house. Slugger, Dora and Steve followed. "Coffee?" asked Slugger. "Please Sluggs." said Steve. "Not for me thanks Sluggs." said Dora. "I'll just have a glass of water." "What about you Ron." asked Steve. "I s'pose so." said Ron moodily. Slugger shook his head and went into the kitchen. Dora looked at Steve. She suddenly felt very guilty about the trick they had played on Ron. Steve didn't feel guilty at all - he thought justice had been done. "You OK Ron." Dora asked him. "Yeh, I'll live." he said sadly. "Why did you hit him so hard?" Dora asked. "I fought it was Steve didn't I, and I fought the girl was Wendy." Steve had to look away so that Ron couldn't see his grin. Dora continued. "But why did you hit him. Wasn't that taking it a bit far?" "We thought you'd just..." she stopped quickly, her face giving away a multitude of sins. Ron looked at her quickly. "What did you say? Come on girl, what was it?" he said, standing in front of Dora now. Steve took Ron's arm and pulled him away. "Look Ron, it's like this.... we set you up." Ron stared hard at Steve. "You what?" he said, knowing full well what Steve had said. "We set you up because you were messing us about." Ron looked guilty then. Steve continued. "Dora knows those two people." "Jenny and Marc." Dora cut in. Ron looked disbelievingly "Jenny and Marc." he repeated. Dora carried on with the confession. "I've often thought Marc looked a bit like Steve from the back and Jenny..." "I know." said Ron. "Jenny looked like Wendy." He was really fed up now and one step ahead of Dora. "So you sent me that card and I fell hook, line and sinker, finking I had a date with Miss 'W', aka Wendy." Dora nodded. "You brought it on yourself Ron." said Steve. Ron blew out his cheeks. "I know, I know, I deserve it. A nice Valentine's Day this has been." he said miserably. "We didn't think you'd hit him Ron - we thought you'd just be a bit embarrassed and leave." Steve explained.
Dora smiled at him. "Sorry." she said, really regretting what she and Steve had done. Ron raised his eyebrows. He couldn't resist her smile. "So am I." he said. "It's me own fault as normal." Steve patted him on the back. "You'll be alright Ron, the Colonel's fighting your corner." Ron nodded. "Yeh, I know." Slugger came in with the drinks. "Oh, by the way, somebody dropped a card in for you whilst you were at the Police Station." Ron frowned, wondering who it could be. "You remember that girl you went on the bumping cars with at the fair - her with the funny tea cosy hat." said Slugger. "Huh, you can talk." said Ron snappily. Slugger ignored him and continued "Anyway, she says she was at the disco and she thought you was fantastic how you dealt with that bloke. She wonders if you'd like to go out for a drink with her sometime - when the police have finished with ya." Ron suddenly brightened up and a big smile crossed his face from ear to ear. "She was impressed was she?" said Ron, pushing out his chest and looking really smug. "Yep, and she loved your waistcoat too - although I can't fink for the life of me why." said Slugger. Ron's eyes widened. "At last, a girl with taste - give me her number." he said to Slugger.
"Oh Ron. Looks like you got your Valentine's surprise after all." Dora laughed and it wasn't long before the others all joined in.
The End.
