Author Topic: Camping Capers  (Read 3435 times)

Offline pete.r.

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Camping Capers
« on: May 08, 2016, 03:21:13 PM »
                                                          Camping Capers

A story in four parts.


It had been a difficult two months for Dora since Lancelot had died. She'd been working hard to try and take her mind off things, and
it hadn't been easy having Hazel to get used to, and show her the ropes. Steve had been trying his best, but there was now a barrier
between them.
"You need a break Dora," said the Colonel, "Why don't you take a few days off, have a little holiday, get a change of scenery."
"That's a great idea" answered Callie, who was helping out in her school holidays. "I've got a tent, we could go camping."
"What, Dora  go camping" laughed Steve.
"Yeah, you know" replied Ron, "In one of those white canvassy things, a sort of door at the front and a cover on top and it's pegged
to the ground."
" 'Ere, just like the circus" exclaimed Slugger.
"Just like the circus" said Ron, "That's a bloomin' big top Slugs, I don't think Callies tent will be as large or substantial as that."
"Can I go as well?" asked Hazel.
"I'm sorry but the tent's only big enough for two people" replied Callie. "And we need you here to help out" said the Colonel.
"Perhaps next time. Right, that's settled then" continued the Colonel. I've a friend, Captain Beecham. He was a Cavalry officer
in the Royal Horse Guards in world war two. He's got a mansion with lots of private land around it in Derbyshire. You'd be safe
there. I'll give him a ring. I'm sure he'll let you set up camp there."
"Captain Beecham" exclaimed Ron. "He sounds like a major headache."

So it was all arranged.
                                                     A few days later at Follyfoot.

"Good Lord" cried out the Colonel, "Why's Ron wearing those ridiculous red and yellow checkered trousers. They don't even fit him
properly. They're half way up his knees. Is he breaking them in for someone?".
"His gran bought 'em 'im for 'is birthday" replied Slugger.
"Two years ago."
"Well just make sure he doesn't frighten any of the horses" said the Colonel.
Callie arrived at Follyfoot carrying a huge backpack, bigger than herself.
"Blimey" said Ron, "I take it back what you said about the big top Slugs."
"When's the clown arriving then?" said Hazel.
"He's already here" grinned Steve, looking at Ron.
"Here you are Dora" said Callie, "This is yours to carry." "Thank you" she replied, struggling to lift it up.
"This is mine" said Callie, holding up a tiny rucksack. "Sure you can manage that" said Slugger. "Oh yes" she said, "It's very light."
"So it is" exclaimed Ron, holding it up, "Whats in it, cotton wool for Dora to put in her ears?".
"Don't be cheeky" replied Callie, "It's some food supplies."
"Blimey" answered Slugger, "Didn't realise this was a weight loss  holiday you were going on."

"So what made you buy a tent Callie in the first place" asked the Colonel. "Well, I thought maybe when I get a boyfriend , we could
go camping together" she said, looking over at Steve. "Don't you have a boyfriend then?" asked Hazel.
"No," she replied, "Although a couple of years ago I went out with a boy for about three weeks."
"What happened to him?" asked Hazel.
"He went deaf" said Slugger.
"Right" said the Colonel, "You've got your bus timetable, map of where you're going and plenty of money. Just enjoy yourself.
And don't forget to ring, there's a public phone box nearby."

"Blimey" exclaimed Ron, "I'm cream crackered." "What do you mean" said Steve." Me, Hazel and Slugger's done all the work."
"1 stirred me tea" said Ron.
"Yeah, you're good at stirring it" answered Steve. "You havn't done a stroke of work, just because Dora's away."
"That's not true" replied Ron.
"No it's not" said Slugger, " 'Ee never does any work when she's 'ere. Right, I'll get the tea ready now. 'Ere, where's me fryin' pan?".
"Where does it normally end up?" said Hazel.
"In the dustbin" exclaimed Ron.
"Oh Slugger" said Hazel, "You're trying to do too many jobs at once, you'll get your knickers in a twist."
"Or Long Johns in Slugger's case" replied Steve.
"Well just calm down Slugs" said Hazel, "You're getting things wrapped round your neck."

Slugger wasn't the only one. Dora and Callie had the tent and ropes entwined around them.
"Oh this is hopeless Callie" said Dora, "We've been an hour trying to put this tent up. I thought you knew how to do it."
"I said I'd got a tent" replied Callie, "I never said I'd ever put one up." "Well havn't you any instructions?" asked Dora."
"Oh yes" replied Callie.
"Thank goodness for that" said Dora. "Where are they?".
"In my bedroom drawer at home" she answered.
"Oh Callie" sighed Dora.

"Now look" said Callie, "Let's do this methodically, using rigorous strategy and scrupulous mathmatical formula. Now, let's imagine
this tent is a triangle. In any right angled triangle, the tangent of an angle is the lenght of the opposite side divided by the length
of the adjacent side, so...." "Are  you sure you havn't got any cotton wool in your rucksack Callie" said an exasperated Dora.
You're getting under my skin."
"I wish I was getting under this tent" replied Callie.

Back at Follyfoot Slugger had found his frying pan.
"Right everyone" he said, "Those sausages I've cooked today are a first for me."
"What, you mean they're not burnt" exclaimed Steve. "Maybe they're even fit for human consumption" said Ron.
"They won't affect you then" said Steve.
"So what have you done?" asked Hazel. "I've made me own sausages" said Slugger smugly.
" 'Ope you washed your 'ands first after you finished mucking out" said Ron. "Oh I dunno" answered Sleve, "Might improve the flavour."
"Uurghh" said Hazel, "I feel sick."
"You ain't even tried 'em yet said Slugger. "I call 'em 'Baked beans and brussels bangers'.
There was a silence.
"I think you could be right Steve" said Hazel. "You mean you actually made sausages full of sprouts and baked beans Slugs" said Steve.
"Yeah" replied Slugger, "These'll put the wind in your sails.".
"You're right about that Slugs" said Ron, chomping on one........'scuse me. 'Ere, if Sir Francis Chichester 'ad taken a load of these on
'is boat 'eed 'ave sailed round the world in 'alf the time. 'Eed 'ave only needed to sit wiv is back to the sails.
"What do you think Hazel" said Slugger.
"I think I wish I was with Dora and Callie" said Hazel. "I'm sure I heard Callie say she'd got some smoked salmon.

Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline pete.r.

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Re: Camping Capers
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2016, 03:51:32 PM »

Back in Derbyshire Callie and Dora had at last pitched the tent.
"Right, what's for tea Callie?" asked Dora. "I'm starving. All that energy used up fighting with that tent's made me ravenous."
"I've got a tin of salmon" said Callie. She pulled the ring pull. It snapped off. "Oh bother" she said.
"Have you got a tin opener?" asked Dora.
"Yes" replied Callie.
"Where is it..........No, don't tell me."
"In my bedroom drawer" they both said in unison.
"Don't suppose you know any mathmatical formulae for opening tins of salmon" said Dora.
"No, replied Callie, "We learn about cuboids next year. This year it's triangles."

"I was being ironic" replied Dora.

"So was I" answered Callie.

"Oh well, I've got a packet of broken biscuits" said Callie. "Better than nothing."
"Why did you buy broken biscuits Callie?".
"I didn't" she replied. "You sat on my rucksack after you'd finished arguing with the tent poles."
"Oh I wish I was back at Follyfoot" said Dora. "I know Slugger's cooking's bad but nothing could be as bad as this."

Back at Follyfoot there was a queue for the toilet. There was a horrible smell in the farmhouse.
" 'Ere," said Slugger to Ron, " 'Ow dare you fart in front of Hazel."
"I'm sorry," said Ron. "I didn't realise it was her turn."
Steve came out of the toilet.
"Well I'll say one thing for your sausages Slugs" he said, as Ron dashed in, his neckerchief over his nose.
"At least they give you a good run for your money.

To be continued.........
Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline pete.r.

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Re: Camping Capers
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2016, 02:07:53 PM »

Meanwhile back at camp it was getting late. "It'll be dark soon" said Callie, "I think we ought to light a fire, just outside the tent."
"Good idea" answered Dora. "I've been practising" said Callie, "I'll show you how to do it." She gathered some dry grass that was
almost like straw and put it in a heap. Then she put some small twigs on the top. Then she got two larger twigs and knelt down
and started rubbing them furiously together. After about two minutes she stopped. "My hands are aching" she said, "I'm exhausted,
could you carry on for me please Dora." "Of course I can" she replied. Dora put the two larger twigs on top of the fire then took a
packet of safety matches out of her pocket and lit the straw.
"Dora, you've got a box of matches" exclaimed a surprised Callie.
"Yes" she replied, "I thought they'd come in handy."
Callie collapsed in a heap, groaning.
"Tomorrow we'll go into town to get some supplies" said Dora.

Back at Follyfoot everyone was relaxing before they went to bed. Steve had his head in a book.
" 'Ere, is that a book you're reading then?" asked Slugger.
Steve slowly closed the book. He looked at the front of it, then the back of it, and then the spine.
"Yes, it's definitely a book" he replied.
"Nothing gets past our Slugger" said Ron.
Steve carried on reading. "Is it good then?" enquired Slugger. "Yes, it's very good" answered Steve, hiding behind it.
"Will it take long to read?" asked Slugger.
Steve slowly looked up. "It will at this rate" he replied. "What's it about then?" said Slugger.
Steve looked up again. "It's a book written by Brian Epstein about the Beatles" he answered. Steve carried on reading.
"Clever bloke that" said Slugger.
" 'Oo was" chirped in Ron.
"Brian Epstein" said Slugger. " 'Ee invented the theory of relativity. See, I'm not stupid. Didn't know 'ee knew all about insects though."
"That's Einstein" exclaimed Ron, "Albert Einstein. And he didn't invent it, he developed it. 'Ere, 'ee wrote a book about it Steve,
you ought to read it."
"I will if I ever get to finish this one" retorted Steve. "I'm going to my room. Goodnight!"
"Touchy tonight arn't we" said Ron.
"Well you did keep interrupting him" replied Slugger.

Back at camp the girls were getting ready for bed. They climbed into their sleeping bags. "Oh I nearly forgot" said Dora.
She took a picture out of her pocket and put it besides her bed. It was a photo of Copper.
Callie took a picture out of her pocket and put it besides her bed. It was a photo of Steve.
"Isn't he gorgeous" said Dora, looking at her picture.
"Isn't he just" said Callie, looking at hers.
"Such lovely eyes" said Dora.
"Yes, they really are" replied Callie.
"And he's so strong and yet so gentle" said Dora.
"Oh definitely" sighed Callie.
"I just love riding him every day" said Dora, saucily.
"Goodnight Dora said a peeved Callie.
"Goodnight Callie" said Dora, smiling cheekily.

"Dora," said Callie, twenty minutes later, "Are you awake?". There was no reply. "Oh this is hopeless" exclaimed Callie, "I can't
get to sleep."
"Oh I do think you're wonderful" said Dora.
"What" replied Callie.
"And now you're all hot and sweaty."
"That's all I need" said Callie, "Dora talking in her sleep."
"I'll give you a good rub down" continued Dora.
"Oh for Heavens sake" exclaimed Callie.
"And then in the morning you can have your oats."
"Dora!" said Callie.
"Yes Callie" she answered, her eyes wide open. "You wern't asleep. You were just winding me up."
"I was only talking about Copper" answered Dora.
"No you wern't, you were....." "Just a minute" interrupted Dora, "I think I heard a noise outside the tent."
They both got out of their sleeping bags and peered out. "Look" said Dora. "Goodness" replied Callie.
There was a large white horse walking towards them. They slowly walked over to it. "Look" whispered Dora, "It's been injured. It's
got blood on it's left flank." She took out her handkerchief and delicately dabbed the wound. The horse nodded as if to say thank you,
then it turned round and trotted off into the bushes. "Quick Callie" said Dora, "We have to find it." They dashed over to where the
horse went. But they couldn't find it anywhere. "It's just disappeared into thin air" exclaimed Callie. "What do we do now?".
"There's nothing we can do" answered Dora, "We'll tell Captain Beecham about it tomorrow, perhaps he'll be able to find it.
Come on, let's get some sleep now."

Next morning at Follyfoot everyone was up and running. The effects of Slugger's sausages still hadn't quite worn off.
" 'Ere, where are you goin' in the Land Rover Steve" shouted Slugger. "Into town" he replied. "We've run out of toilet rolls and
air freshener." "I'm not surprised" said Ron. " 'Ere, 'ow will Dora and Callie go on, you know, about goin' to the bog."
"They'll dig a hole" replied Slugger. "Good job you didn't pack Dora and Callie any sausages up" said Hazel.
"Yeah" replied Ron, "Otherwise the campsite would've looked like the surface of the moon by now."
" 'Ere, I didn't know there were any tents on the moon" said Slugger, "I thought all them as astronauts came back 'ome."
"I don't think you're on the right planet Slugs" exclaimed Steve. "No one lives on the moon. Ron means craters. The moon's full of
craters. Look, I've got to dash, I've planned a route via all the public toilets." "Hope they've got plenty of paper" said Hazel.
"It's alright" replied Steve, "I've got the last six monthe issues of The Times newspaper in the back of the Land Rover."
"I knew they'd come in 'andy one day" said Slugger, "Everything 'as it's use."
"Not quite everything" said Ron.
"'Ere, about them craters"..... continued Slugger.
"Look, forget about craters, I'll re-phrase what I was saying" said Ron. "The campsite would've looked like a minefield by now."
"Are you with it Slugger?" said Hazel.
"Oh yeah" answered Slugger. "I didn't know there were any minefields on the moon though."
"Oh Slugger, you make me laugh" said Hazel.
" 'Ee makes me cry" replied Ron. "Look, Dora and Callie digging holes everywhere. Because of your sausages. Get it?".
"But they ain't 'ad any of me sausages" he replied.
"Lucky them" said Ron, heading towards the loo. "Blimey" he said, looking at the headlines on the newspaper inside.
"Minefields found on the moon by American astronaut after two months of living there doing experiments".

Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline pete.r.

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Re: Camping Capers
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2016, 02:50:23 PM »
The next morning the girls went to see Captain Beecham. They told him what they'd seen.
"I was hoping he'd turn up" said the Captain. "What you saw was the ghost of old Warrior." "A ghost!" exclaimed Callie. "That was a ghost."
"Yes" he replied. "His name's Warrior. In world war two he was the horse I rode in the Royal Horse Guards. He was killed in battle.
Whether it was a shot from the enemy or from my own men accidentally I don't know. Anyway, I nursed him on the battleground till
he died. Broke my heart. Missed him terribly. He was more of a friend than an animal. After the war and I came back here, I didn't know
how I could live without him. Then, suddenly, one night, he appeared in front of my mansion, blood stained from the shot, walking
around. I knew then he'd come back to tell me everything was alright, that he was still here with me. Yes, the ghost of old Warrior
appears here every now and then. Up to now only I've seen him. I'm glad that you've seen him too."

Callie and Dora returned to their tent. "That's spooky" said Callie.
"Something's wrong" replied Dora. "That wasn't a ghost. I touched him. He was solid. He was real. Just a minute" she said. She took
the blood stained hanky out of her pocket and sniffed it. "This isn't blood" exclaimed Dora.
"What is it?" asked Callie.
"Tomato ketchup" answered Dora. Someone's trying to make out Warrior's a ghost. We're going to find out who. Tonight we'll stay
awake, we've got some spare guy rope, we'll lassoo him if he appears. Then we can take him to Captain Beecham in the morning.
We'll sort this out Callie. Do you think you'll be able to stay awake?".

"Oh yes" she replied. "I used to visit my grandma, she'd keep me up late talking. All she used to do was natter, natter, natter, yap,yap
yap, all night long. Can you believe that Dora?".
"Strangely enough I can" she replied.
"Chatter, chatter, chatter, she just went on and on, you couldn't get a word in."
"I know the feeling" said Dora.
"And she was just talking absolute rubbish, things you wern't interested in, you just had to sit there listening, until eventually she'd
stop to take breath and then you could butt in."
"Yes" said Dora, "I........"
"And then she'd continue again where she left off and you'd probably only said two words, just constant babbling and cackling. In
the end your brain just switched off, you could hear her but you wern't listening. Your senses just went numb. So do you think
we'll see Warrior tonight Dora?.....Dora.....Dora?".

To be continued.........

Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline pete.r.

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Re: Camping Capers
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2016, 03:38:27 PM »

Back at Follyfoot the Colonel arrived. "Gather round everyone" he said, "I've something to tell you. Right" he continued, "I've
decided while Dora's away we're going to decorate her bedroom, it's not been done for ages."
"By we, I presume that's us" replied Steve.
"Well, yes, but as I thought of the idea I come into the equation as well" said the Colonel. "Now, as Dora's away camping, I
looked in the decorator's merchants and found some wallpaper with lots of different tent designs on it. I thought it would be rather novel.
So, this morning, when Steve went shopping for toilet rolls I got him to pick the wallpaper and paste and all the tools up to do the job.
I must say I thought those 24 toilet rolls we bought last week would have lasted longer. Well I'll leave you to it, you've got three
days to finish the job before Dora gets back."
"I dunno" chuntered Slugger, "Butcher, baker, Joiner, plumber, mucker outer, now decorator. Jack of all trades."
"Not forgetting purveyor of Slugger's Gourmet Baked Beans and Brussels Bangers" exclaimed Ron. "I 'ear Setlers Antacid tablets are going to sponsor 'em."
"Well we'd better make a start" said Slugger. "The sooner it's done the better. Now, we'll run this operation like clockwork.
Everything will be done down to the last detail. Teamwork is the key.
First, Steve Hazel and Ron, you strip the old wallpaper off.
Then Steve, you measure the wall.
Hazel, you roll the wallpaper on the paste table.
Steve, you mark it where it needs cutting.
Ron, you cut it.
Steve, you paste it.
Ron, you hang it.
Hazel, you look after the tools and pass them to the lads as they need them."
" 'Ang about" said Ron, "Where does this teamwork come in? What do you do Slugs?".
"I organise everything and inspect what you've done" replied Slugger. "If anything's wrong I'll tell you and you do it again."
"Blimey" answered Ron, "When you said teamwork was the key I didn't realise you were going to lock us in the room and not let us
out untill we've finished."

Back at the tent Dora and Callie were ready to go into town to get supplies.
"Right Callie" said Dora, "We've got to carry them back here, so we'll only buy things that are really essential, things that we really
need." "Righto" replied Callie. "We'll make a list" said Dora. "I'll start. Cream cakes." "Bars of chocolate" said Callie. "Biscuits, not
broken" said Dora. "Crisps" said Callie. "Black eye mascara" said Dora."This weeks copy of 'Jackie' magazine" said Callie.
"One apple" said Dora.
"One apple" replied Callie. "If you don't mind me saying that's a rather specific amount Dora. How do you know I don't want one?".
"It's not for me" explained Dora, "It's to tempt Warrior with if he comes back tonight, or should I say whoever's pretending to
be Warrior."
"Ah, good thinking Dora" answered Callie.

"Right, that'll do" exclaimed Dora. "Oh, just a minute, we need something to drink." "Dandelion and Burdock" replied Callie.
Dora scribbled it down. "O.K. let's go then" said Dora, "We'll have fish and chips in town."
"And ice cream" said Callie. "And doughnuts" enthused Dora. "And Ribena" continued Callie.
"Hang on" said Dora, "We'd better put Alka-Seltzer tablets on our list of essentials as well."

Back at Follyfoot they srarted stripping the old wallpaper off. "We'll start with that piece" said Slugger, "It's almost 'angin' off, should
come off easy." Ron put the stepladder in position and climbed up. He took hold of the paper and gave it a good yank. The paper
came straight off, Ron fell backwards and onto Steve, his head sticking out of the wallpaper.
"Blimey, lucky I fell on you Steve" he said, who was writhing in agony, "I could've 'ad a nasty accident there."
"Gawd" replied Slugger, "It's like workin' wif Laurel 'n 'Ardy."

Slugger was right. The old paper came off easily.
"Right, let's get the new paper on now" said Slugger. Hazel laid the first piece on the table. Just then in came the Colonel.
"Well I must say you've made a great start" he said. He bent over Ron to look at the wallpaper.
"I think I made a good choice there" he said, "It looks very nice." Ron quickly cut the paper. "Ready for you to paste Steve" he said.
"Oh gawd" exclaimed Slugger.
Hazel started laughing.
"You've cut the Colonel's bloomin' tie in 'alf" said Slugger.
"My tie" said the Colonel, holding the end up. "You blundering buffoon Stryker" shouted the Colonel.
"I've heard short ties are in fashion" said Steve.
"It was one of my favourite ones, I got it off Tockwith Market."
"Oh well, I expect you got it for a snip" said Ron.

Steve pasted the wallpaper enthusiastically, but with a bit too much gusto. The paint brush went straight up the Colonel's shirt.
"Be careful with that brush" exclaimed the Colonel. Ron took the piece of tie the Colonel was holding and put it on his shirt and
patted it in  place.
"There, nobody'll notice now" said Ron.
Hazel couldn't stop giggling.
"I'm going to get cleaned up" said the Colonel. He turned round, but slipped on some paste that had dripped onto the floor.
He crashed into the paste table, the bucket that was on the edge toppled over, the Colonel was covered in goo.
"Are you alright Colonel" said Hazel, trying to pull herself together.
"He looks a bit pasty to me" commented Ron.
"I'm going" said an irate Colonel, "I'll leave you to it."
" 'Ere, 'ang on a second, Steve's missed a bit on this corner" said Slugger, "Could you just wipe your 'ead on it on your way out Colonel."
"What a mess the Colonel's in" exclaimed Steve.
"Yeah, still, look on the bright side" replied Ron, " 'Ee can't get any worse."

Just as the Colonel went outside he passed a wheelbarrow piled high with straw. A huge gust of wind suddenly blew the straw all
over him, sticking to the glue.
"Blimey" said Ron, "I take that last statement back."
Hazel was in hysterics.
"Last time I saw anything like that" said Steve, "Was when I saw the Straw Man in the Tockwith Player's production of 'The Wizard Of Oz'."

Back at the tent Dora and Callie had returned from shopping in the town where they'd had their lunch.
"I feel sick" groaned Callie. "Do you think I put too much salt and vinegar on?".
"No I don't think so" replied Dora. "I mean, you had to put a considerable amount on to cover a large haddock, large portion of chips,
a large portion of mushy peas, two pickled eggs and a large battered sausage. And you didn't put any on your ice cream."
"You think I've eaten too much don't you Dora?" said Callie.
"It's a possibility" suggested Dora.
"O.K. then, tomorrow I'll just have one pickled egg" she said.

Meanwhile at Follyfoot Ron had hung the first piece of wallpaper. It had taken him ages. He'd got it dead level using a plumbob and
meticulously brushed any air bubbles out of it and neatly trimmed the top and bottom.
"There" he proudly exclaimed, "You're watching an artist at work. A perfectionist."
"Just a minute" said Slugger. "The pattern's supposed to be tents."
"They look like wine glasses" said Hazel.
"You muttonhead Ron" said Steve, "You've hung it upside down."
"Oh gawd" cringed Ron, "Do you think anyone will notice?".
"Well we have" replied Slugger. "Get it down."
"That's the trouble with you lot" drawled Ron, "You pay too much attention to detail.".

That evening Dora and Callie lay in wait for Warrior. "Do you think he'll come Dora?" she said. "I hope so" replied Dora.
They waited. Then, ten minutes later, they saw the white bloodstained equine trotting towards them in the moonlight.
"There he is" said Callie.
Dora got the apple and the rope.
Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline pete.r.

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Re: Camping Capers
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2016, 04:12:21 PM »
They went outside. Dora held the apple out, "Here you are boy" she said. Warrior nervously came to her. Quickly Dora threw the
noose around his neck. He reared up. "Hang on Dora" shouted Callie. Suddenly a man came running out of the bushes.
"Let him go" he shouted. "You'll injure him."
Dora let him go. "Who are you?" she asked. "Why are you fooling Captain Beecham into thinking this is the ghost of Warrior?".
"My name's Ned" he replied. "I'm the Captain's gardener and odd job man. When he came back here after the war he was a broken man,
Losing Warrior, being with him when he died, affected him terribly. He felt he couldn't go on. So I had this idea. This is my friends
horse, he looks like Warrior. I put tomato ketchup on him to make it look like he's been wounded. I hide in the bushes whilst he
parades in front of the Captains window. Then I call him back. I just do it now and again. The Captain genuinely believes it's the ghost
of Warrior coming back to see him and make sure he's alright. It worked, he's happy again knowing Warrior has come back as a ghost.
Please don't tell Captain Beecham will you. He's not to find out."

"No, we won't say anything" replied Dora. Ned disappeared into the bushes with the horse.
Dora and Callie went back into the tent.

To be continued.........
Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline pete.r.

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Re: Camping Capers
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2016, 02:34:05 PM »

"Well that's that sorted" said Callie. "Yes, Warrior wasn't a ghost" replied Dora lying down, "All's well that.......AAARGH" she shrieked
jumping up. "There's a spider climbing up the inside of the tent. A big one. Look, there."
"Don't worry, I'm not frightened of them" said Callie, picking up the tiniest of spiders and then throwing it out of the tent.
Dora sat down, uneasily, looking round. "I think I'll go and stand by the fire for a bit" she said. "I hate spiders." Dora went outside.
"Oh no" she exclaimed. "What's up" shouted Callie.
"It's started raining" said Dora. "It's absolutely pouring, it's like a monsoon." She came back into the tent, her hair was soaked.
She lay on the floor. "UURGHH" She cried out. "Now what's wrong" said Callie."
"The floor's all wet and horrible."
"It's alright my side" answered Callie.
Dora shone her torch. "The rain's coming in" exclaimed Dora. "Look, the groundsheet's not been pegged down my side. I thought
you'd done it." "No, I only did my side" replied Callie, "I thought you'd done yours." They quickly pegged it down.
"We can dry it with a towel" said Callie. She got a towel and dried it.
"It's still a bit damp" said Dora, "And now the towel's wet through. My hair's soaked, my bum's wet, and I've got visions of creepy
crawlies coming in at night. Oh I hate tents."
"I'll move over, you can lie in the middle Dora, it's dry there."
"I'm fed up" Dora replied.

"I know" said Callie, "We'll have a game of 'I Spy' to take your mind off things."
"I Spy" exclaimed Dora. "In a tent, in the middle of the night."
"Well we've got a torch" replied Callie, "Let's give it a go. I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with......S."
"AAARGHH" Screamed Dora. "It's spider. There's another spider in the tent."
"No it's not spider Dora" said Callie, "There's no spider in the tent. Calm down."
"Right" said Dora......"Shoes?".
"I know...Sweater!."
"Oh this is ridiculous" exclaimed Dora. "I give in."
"Sky" said Dora. "How can you possibly see the sky whilst sitting in a tent with the tent flap shut tight?".
"Through that hole in the roof" replied Callie.

Dora looked up. She could see the stars. "Oh no" she groaned, "We've a hole in the roof. And now the rain's coming in. How did
that get there?". "When you first saw the spider" explained Callie, "You jumped up and put your fist through the canvas. You
didn't notice in your panic. Don't worry, I've got some self adhesive patches that came with the tent, we'll stick one on in the morning."
"In the morning" replied Dora, "Why can't we do it now, the rain's pouring in."
"They won't stick if the fabric's wet" she explained. "Well that's stupid" said Dora, "What's the use of that, we need it repairing now."
"It's not my fault" said Callie, "I didn't invent them. What we'll do is you go outside with that wet towel and drape it over the tent
where the hole is. That'll feep the rain out till morning."
"Me, why should I go outside" said Dora. "You're the expert. It's torrential."
"Because you're already wet through" replied Callie. "No point in us both getting soaked."

"Camping!" moaned a disgruntled Dora.
"Hazel can definitely take my place next time."

Next morning at Follyfoot the Colonel came to see how the decorating was going on. He couldn't believe his eyes. It was finished.
"You've done a brilliant job everyone" he said. "It's perfect. Do you know, just for a minute, I had this horrible premonition that you
might have hung the paper upside down."
"Nah" exclaimed Slugger. "Only an idiot would do that."
"Yeah, only an idiot" said an embarrassed Ron.
"Slugger pays a lot of attention to detail" explained Hazel. "Yes....yes I can see that" said the Colonel, smiling happily.
"Marvellous innit" answered Ron, "We do all the work and Slugger gets the praise."

Just then the phone rang. The Colonel answered it.
"Oh hello Dora......How are you.....Yes....Yes.....Oh dear.....Well we'll see you in a couple of days ..........Goodbye then."
The colonel went back to Dora's bedroom. Everyone was standing admiring their handywork.
"That was Dora" he said, with a glum face.
"Everything alright Colonel?" asked Slugger.
"Is Dora and Callie O.K." said Hazel.
"Yes, they're fine" he replied.
"What did she say?" said Steve.
"She said, and I quote" said the Colonel, "I hate tents. I never ever want to see one again."
They all stood looking at the bedroom walls. There were hundreds of tents on the wallpaper.
"Gawd blimey" said Slugger, "Sounds like in tents it can get intense."

"I'm sorry" said the Colonel, "You'll have to strip it all off. I'll go down the decorator's merchants now, they had some paper with
horse designs on it. I think we'll play safe and plump for that."
"All our hard work" said Steve. "And we did a perfect job" exclaimed Ron.
"Yes I know" answered the Colonel. "It'll be a devil to get off" said Slugger, "We used the best heavy duty paste."
"Yes.....yes I can vouch for that" replied the Colonel. I spent six hours trying to scrape that darned straw of my clothes.
Still, look on the bright side" he said, "I've now got a modern dark blue and beige fleck suit."

Back in Derbyshire Dora lay on the grass outside the tent in the warm afternoon sunshine.
"This is lovely" she said. "I'm enjoying myself today. I'm finding camping's really relaxing." "And I've repaired the tent" said Callie.
"Thank you" answered Dora. "And that was a lovely lunch we had in town."
"Oh yes" exclaimed Callie, "A buffet in a Chinese restaurant. I couldn't believe it when we went in and that sign said "All you can eat for £1."
"Yes" replied Dora, "But I don't think they actually meant you to eat it all."
"I didn't" said Callie. "I left the chicken drumsticks. I didn't like them. I told the chef. I said 'Your chicken legs are horrible'. "
"What did he say" said Dora.
"He said 'Solly' and went and put a pair of trousers on."
"I expect it was hot in the kitchen" replied Dora.
"Yes" exclaimed Callie, "Apparently his tender Pulled Pork Balls were absolutely sizzling."
"And I don't think the manager was very impressed when you said is 'Tai Ni Po Ni' Chinese for small horse" said Dora.
"Well you was just as bad Dora" said Callie "When you complained that the Lamb Skewers didn't have much meat on them."
"Yes" said an embarrassed Dora, "I didn't realise they were chopsticks."
"And I didn't like the sign above the door either" said Callie.
"No" replied Dora, "It was a bit off putting. Fancy calling it "The Poo Dung Chinese Restaurant."

Back at Follyfoot they were struggling to get the new wallpaper stripped.
"It'll be tea time by the time we start papering Colonel" said Slugger. "We'll never get it finished in time."
"It has to be ready for when Dora arrives tomorrow morning" he replied, "You'll have to work through the night to finish it."
"Through the night" replied Steve, "We've been working hard on it all day."
"Yeah" said Ron, militantly, "We need an incentive for working nights."
"If you don't work tonight I'll sack you" answered the Colonel."
"That's good enough incentive" said Ron.
"It didn't help you sobbing Ron everytime we scraped a piece of paper off" said Steve.
"Yeah well, it was my masterpiece being destroyed" replied Ron. " 'Ow'd you think Ludwig Van Beethoven would 'ave felt if someone 'ad
said to 'im 'Oh sorry Wiggy me old mate, but you'll 'ave to rip up that Symphony No. 9 in D Minor you've just composed."
"He would have ignored them" replied the Colonel.
"Why would he have done that" asked Hazel.
"Because", said the Colonel, "He was deaf when he wrote it"

Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline pete.r.

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Re: Camping Capers
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2016, 03:11:43 PM »
Next morning Dora and Callie arrived back at Follyfoot. "Hello, anyone at home" shouted Dora.
"Oh hello Dora" answered the Colonel, "Did you have a nice time?". "Yes" she replied.
"And did you have plenty to eat?".
"Oh we survived" said Callie, "Eating scraps and things."
"It's very quiet" said Dora. "Yes, they' all in bed." "All in bed " exclaimed Dora, "It's eleven o clock. They should be out now
looking after the horses. Oh Uncle, I'm only gone a few days and everything goes to pot. Time to get up" she shouted.
Four tired faces appeared, yawning. "I'm surprised at you all" she said. "Just because I'm away doesn't mean it's a holiday for you
as well". She took her bag into her bedroom. "Oh" she exclaimed as she opened the door. "You've redecorated my room."

"Yes, we thought it would be a nice surprise for you" said the Colonel.
"Do you like it?" asked Steve.
"Well......It's different" replied Dora.
"You don't like it Dora do you" said Hazel.
"Well I work with horses all day" said Dora, "It would be nice to see something different at night time. Something tranquil. Something
solitary, something that would help me unwind. Like a tent."
"A tent" gasped Ron.
"You want your bedroom done in tent wallpaper" said an astonished Slugger, barely able to get the words out.
"Yes, wallpaper with lots of different types of tents on" said Dora.
"But Dora, two days ago you said you didn't like tents" exclaimed a puzzled Colonel.
"That was two days ago, I like them now" she said.

The others slowly went downstairs, exhausted.
The Colonel puffed on his pipe, dispiritedly.
"Uncle" said Dora, "What's that funny bump, bump, bump, bump sound downstairs I can hear?".

"Oh nothing to worry about" he replied, it's just Steve, Ron, Slugger and Hazel banging their heads against the wall."

                                                                                   THE END
Cut out the strong to help the weak