re Lights...Camera...Action 
"Blimey" exclaimed Slugger, "Look 'ow it bulges and pulsates."
"I think Slugger's referring to his biceps Dora," said Steve, as Dora stood open mouthed staring down at his thong.
Slugger rushed forward and covered Butch's eyes with his hands.
One of the crew dashed forward and placed the clapperboard in front of Ron to save his modesty.
"And cut" shouted the director."Blimey" said Slugger, "That'll bring tears to his eyes."Ooh, you ARE awful!
Love the idea of the colonel skipping and dancing from the farmhouse even if he did unknowingly need Ron's help with the iron fillings!
"Still, it did forecast isolated showers today Colonel." He pulled the string of his bow right back and fired the arrow. It shot out like a bullet from a gun into the air and out of the wood.
It struck an electrical pylon. The pylon sizzled, then smoked, then huge flashes of electricity shot into the sky.
Two thirds of Yorkshire's electricity supply was cut off.
"'Ere" said Ron, "No need to shout cut. Most of Yorkshire already 'as been." Unfortunately she didn't see the great big steaming lump of horse muck in front of her, she stood in it. It stuck to the heel of her red stiletto.
"Oh I say" she said. She took her shoe off and shook it violently. The offending turd shot across the yard before hitting Ron in the middle of his forehead and sticking to it.
"Oh I'm awfully sorry" said Her Royal Highness..."Still, that's what happens when the s--t hits the fan." That is so mad, but so funny!
"Harvey, didn't you hear what I just said. I told you I wanted you to hit one of them."
"'Ee bah gum lad, that's nay problem" replied Harvey, and with that he turned round and punched one of the crew on the nose.
And with that he turned towards the judges and stuck two fingers up at them and stormed off indignantly.
"By 'eck" said Harvey Smith to Princess Anne, "Ah'll 'ave ta remember that one."Ah, so now we know how it all started!
Great read, peter.r!
