Author Topic: Doctor Who arrives at Follyfoot  (Read 2471 times)

Offline pete.r.

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Doctor Who arrives at Follyfoot
« on: October 07, 2014, 05:04:59 PM »
Doctor Who arrives at Follyfoot

A story in three parts


Everyone was in the farmhouse having tea. It was burnt sausages.
"'Ere, what's that funny noise?" said Slugger.
"Probably our stomachs" replied Ron.
"No it's coming from outside" said Steve. "I'll take a look." He looked out of the window. "There's a flashing light in the yard" he
said," must be a police car." Ron was out of his chair like a shot.
"See we've mentioned police" said Slugger, "Amazing how that magic word seems to motivate 'im."
"No wait" said Steve, "It's not a police car." They all went outside. There in the middle of the yard was what looked like a police

"Where's that come from?" exclaimed Ron. He walked round it, a burnt sausage sticking out of his mouth. Suddenly the door
opened. There stood a man in a brown hat, with dark curly hair beneath it, large staring eyes, and he was wearing a long
multi coloured striped scarf and a long brown coat.
"AARRGHH" He said looking at Ron. "I was supposed to have arrived on earth, but I seem to have landed on a planet
inhabited by hideous looking creatures."
"Eh" mumbled Ron.
"Only joking" he replied. "Just my sense of humour. This is earth isn't it? Yorkshire, early 1970's."
"Yes" replied Steve. "Thank goodness for that. I've had no end of trouble with one of the circuit boards on my time machine."
"Time machine" gasped Dora.
"Yes" he replied,"It's called the Tardis and I'm the Doctor, a Time Lord."

"'Ere" said Ron, "You're a doctor, well, I get these terrible twinges in me back" he said, putting his hands behind his back and
"Yeah" said Slugger, "They come on as soon as anyone mentions work."
"Any chance of a sick note for a month" asked Ron.
"Oh Ron, he's not that sort of a doctor" said Dora. "He's a Time Lord."
"I dunno" replied Slugger, "Sometimes you say the daftest things Ron .'Ere" he said turning to the Doctor, "Sold any watches
this week then?"

"As I was saying" continued the Doctor, "I've been having problems. Only last week I was supposed to have landed in Vienna
in 1775 to see a Motzart concert. Ended up at Wembley in 1975 watching Johnny Rotten instead."
"Who's Johnny Rotten?" asked Dora.
"Sounds like the bloke Slugger buys his fruit and veg from" replied Steve.

Suddenly the Colonel marched across the yard. "Good Lord " He said.
"Got it in one" replied the Doctor, "Yes I'm a Time Lord."
"Does this contraption belong to you" said the Colonel, pointing to the Tardis.
"Yes" replied the Doctor, "And I've got the log book to prove it."
"Well you can't leave it there, get it moved" said the Colonel, "It's in the way."
"Ah yes I understand" answered the Doctor. "Health and safety. Do you know in 50 years time children won't be able to do the
egg and spoon race at school any more."
"How can an egg be bad for your health" said Dora. "Try eating a few of Slugger's and you'll soon find out" said Ron.

"Talking of eggs I'm quite hungry" said the Doctor," I havn't eaten this week yet."
"You're lucky" replied Steve, we have to eat Sluggers stew every day."
"'Ere" said Slugger, "You're lucky, there's still some left from tea."
"What a surprise" said Ron.
"I'll bring you some out" Slugger replied. He dashed back into the house and seconds later returned with a big plateful.
"AAARRGHH" Said the Doctor as soon as he saw it. His eyes bulged, he put his hands in front of his face.
"Take it away, take it away" he cried.
"Well, 'ees a good judge of food" said Ron.
"I've seen that foul smelling slime before" said the Doctor. "On the planet Daemos."
"How did they get hold of Sluggers recipe?" said Steve.
"The Daemons use it to kill their enemies with" exclaimed the Doctor.
"What, they make 'em eat it" said Ron. "No, they pour it over them" replied the Doctor. "It dissolves their clothes, their skin,
their bones, there's nothing left of them. It dissolves anything."
"'Ere, where do they keep it then" said Slugger.

The Doctor opened the Tardis door. "I've got some ready made meals in here" he said. "I picked them up from Tesco's  this
morning. They were triple clubcard points." "Every little helps" said Steve.
"Here's today's meal" said the Doctor, and he took a box the size of a matchbox out of a drawer.
"Blimey" said Ron, "Are you on a diet then?"
Inside the box were 3 tiny tablets, two white ones and a green one.
"They don't look like Tesco ready meals" said Dora. "Ah that's because when I bought them it was the year 2050" replied
the Doctor. He took them out of the box and looked at them. "Oh no" he said.
"What's the matter" said Steve, "Are they out of date already?"
"No" replied the Doctor, holding up the green one. "It's broccoli. I hate broccoli."
"Good jod Slugger doesn't do your packups" exclaimed Steve," otherwise they'd all be black tablets."

"Now what's for pudding" said the Doctor, taking a large paper bag out of the drawer, "Ah good my favourite, jelly babies."
"Blimey" said Ron, "There must be thousands in there". "Oh no" replied the Doctor, "Jelly babies have to be the real thing, not
tablets." He passed them round.
"Hey" said Steve, holding up a bright orange one, "This one looks just like you Ron."
"Nah" said Slugger, wrestling with a jelly baby that had got stuck in his teeth, "It 'aint leaning on a rake smoking a fag."
Ron viciously bit the head off his and scowled.
"Are they always like this?" asked the Doctor.
"Oh no" replied Dora innocently," sometimes they bicker and fall out." The Doctor gave a big sickly smile.

"Now I'll just take my sonic scrwedriver out of my pocket" he said. He pointed it at the Tardis. ZAP! The Tardis moved from the
middle of the yard and into the corner of the farm. "Hey" said Steve, "That's great, we could do with one of those when we go
shopping in the Land Rover, parking's terrible in town." "Oh I can do anything with this he said- see that dead tree overe there."
"That's the lightning tree" answered Dora." It was killed by lightning years ago. I water it every day. One day It'll come back
to life again."
"It certainly will" said the Doctor. He pointed his sonic screwdriver at it-ZAP. Immediately leaves and branches started growing from
it at an amazing rate, within seconds it was about 100 feet high.
"Blimey" said Slugger, "Looks like something from Jack and the Beanstalk."
"Makes "Miracle Grow" look a bit slow" said Ron.
"I don't like it" said Dora, "I don't like it. It's not the lightning tree I know and love. I want my old lightning tree back again"
"Hang on" said the Doctor, "Now how do I get it in reverse mode. ah yes, that's it"-ZAP! The tree went into fast rewind and all
the branches and leaves disappeared. "Ah that's better "said Dora.

"Anyway" said Steve, "Why have you come here?"
"To save Follyfoot" replied the Doctor.
"Blimey" said Ron, "You should have come a few years ago then before Slugger took over the cooking."
"To save Follyfoot from- The Daleks" he said. "The Daleks are coming."

"'Ere" said Ron, "I saw a Dalek once, I was watching T.V. with me mate, he was horrible, nasty, vile, evil."
"Yes, we know all about your mate" said Steve, "But what was the Dalek like?"

To be continued.........

Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline pete.r.

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Re: Doctor Who arrives at Follyfoot
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2014, 06:25:45 PM »


"The Daleks are coming" said the Doctor. "They're evil monsters who want to take over the earth. They shout "Exterminate,
Exterminate" when they see humans, then they shoot them down dead."
"Are you sure we're in danger" replied Dora, "I mean, when's it going to happen?"
"I'll just check my computer data" said the Doctor," I can give you an exact date. Oh hell and damnation" he shouted.
"What's the matter?" exclaimed Steve, "Don't tell me it's broccoli again for dinner tomorrow."
"No, worse than that" the Doctor replied. "The computer's fouled up, the Dalek's aren't due to attack Follyfoot for another 50 years."
"Ah well, that's alright then" said Slugger, "I'll put the kettle on."

"'Ere, it might be alright for you Slugs, but what about us?" said Ron. "We just nip down to the  post office Saturday morning
to draw our pension and round the corner up pops a Dalek. 'Scuse me Mr Dalek" we say, "Could you just help us across the
road before you exterminate us?"
"Don't talk so stupid Ron" answered Slugger. "The post office don't open Saturday morning."
"Oh 'scuse me for breathing" replied Ron. "Still, I'm sure the Daleks will be familiar with the opening times of Her Majesty's
Royal Mail at Tockwith."
"Well, Sid is" said Slugger, "'Ee runs the post office there and likes a lie in at the weekend."
"Well he'll certainly get one if he bumps into a Dalek" said the Doctor.

"Can we have a look inside your Tardis" said Dora, "It doesn't look very big, it must be full of ready cooked meals and jelly babies."
"Be my guest" said the Doctor, beckoning them inside. They all stared in disbelief.
"It's huge inside" commented Steve.
"Yes," replied the Doctor, "The Tardis is dimensionally transcendental, the exterior and interior exist in separate dimensions."
"Yeah, that's just what I thought" said Slugger, folding his arms and trying to look intelligent.
"Bit like your brain then Ron" said Steve,  "Except that's smaller on the inside than it looks."

"I'll just'ave a rest on this seat" said Slugger.
"No!" shouted the Doctor, "Don't sit on that button on the console." Too late. VWORP, VWORP, VWORP. The Tardis started to
"What's happening?" shouted Dora.
"We're travelling in time" said the Doctor, frantically trying to reprogramme the coordinates on the computer.
"Right, that's it, we've landed. I think we're back at Follyfoot" he said. "With a bit of luck."
"Thank goodness" sighed Dora. "Yeah" said Steve, "First job Slugger let's have a nice cuppa."
"I'll get the frying pan on as well" replied Slugger, "This time travellin's given me an appetite."
"Don't  suppose its given you any improved cooking skills" answered Ron, "Think I'll just have a box of those tablets Doc" he said.

They walked out of the Tardis. It was Follyfoot. But something was wrong.
"There's no horses here" exclaimed Dora. "And the lightning tree" said Steve, "Look, it's got leaves on."
It stood upright and lush. Suddenly out of the farmhouse door came a young man of about 25.
"Hello there" he said, "Can I help you?"
Slugger opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't. He recognised the man from his younger days. It was the Colonel. The others
realised who it was too.
"We're just passing through" replied Dora.
"Can't stop I'm afraid" said the Colonel,"Just had a few days leave, now I've got to get back to base. Fighting the old Jerries,
this war seems never ending. My batman Slugger will be waiting for me, splendid chap, don't know what I'd do without him."
Sluggers eyes watered.
"Well, nice meeting you" he said. "Unusual clothes" he muttered as he climbed into his army Jeep, "Must be some new sort
of camouflage."

"It's that blasted circuit board again" said the Doctor, "We've arrived 30 years too early, I can see the problem" he said.
He made an adjustment with his sonic screwdriver. "There, that's fixed it" he said. "Sorry about that."
"No" answered Dora, as the handsome Geoffrey Maddocks drove away. "No need to be sorry. I was glad to meet him."
They walked across the yard to admire the tree for a few moments, as they did so the sky turned black.
"Think we're in for a storm" said Steve.

They walked back across the yard towards the Tardis. And, as they did so, an aeroplane appeared, as if from nowhere.
Ron waved his hands in the air, a big smile on his face. "Bet that's the Colonel's squadron" he said beaming.
"Blimey" said Slugger as the plane got nearer, "It's not one of ours, it's a messerschmitt. It's the enemy."
"Crikey" said Ron, his hand waving changed to a two handed V sign. "Do you think he understood that" said Ron.
The gunner opened up and began manically firing at Ron.
"Yes, I think so" replied Steve.
Machine gun bullets rained on the floor all round Ron, he was jumping around like a lunatic.
"Blimey" said Slugger, "Didn't know you could do the Irish Jig Ron."
"Just goes to show" said Steve," Ron can move fast when he has too."
"'Ere that was close" said Ron, the ends of his boots smouldering.

"Oh no" shouted Dora, "He's coming back."
The plane did a loop the loop and headed straight for them again. They  had nowhere to go. The gunner had them in his sights.
He put his finger on the trigger.
Suddenly the dark sky was lit up as a bright thunderbolt of forked lightning shot across the sky. One part of it clipped the
aeroplane's wing sending it spinning across the sky and out of harms way. The other fork hit the tree. There was a huge flash.
Leaves were burnt. Branches caught fire. The top of the trunk smouldered, then huge parts of the tree collapsed, smoking
heavily onto the ground below.
"My tree!" shouted Dora. "My tree."
"Quickly" said the Doctor, "We must get back to the Tardis, it's not safe here."
"But my tree" cried Dora, "It's dying."
Slugger, Steve and Ron helped the sobbing Dora to the safety of the police box. It rose into the air, twisting, it's lights
flashing. And then it was gone.

Below it, the smoke slowly cleared to leave an eerie, almost sinister looking skeleton peering into the sky, as if to say "Why me?"

And the Lightning Tree was born.

To be continued.........

Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline pete.r.

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Re: Doctor Who arrives at Follyfoot
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2014, 06:15:00 PM »

The Tardis landed. Slugger poked his head out of the door. "All clear" he shouted." We're back at Follyfoot."
"What, no Roman soldiers marching down the yard or Viking ships on the lake" said Ron.
They made their way to the house. They could hear a lot of noise coming from inside. Their five heads peered through the window.
Inside a party was going on.
"Come on Colonel" said an old looking Slugger, "Get ready to cut your cake. It's not every day you're 100."
A still lovely looking Dora came in with a gas lighter.
"'Scuse me" said an old looking Ron, still with a mop of ginger hair, as he passed wind. "Must've been that cabbage soup I had
for starters and the prunes I had for dessert."
"'Ang on " said Slugger, "Don't light up yet girl or you'll blow the whole bloomin farm up."
Slugger wafted his apron about. "Crikey" said a still handsome Steve, "Even the candles are wilting."
"Not surprised" replied Slugger, holding his nose.
Steve fetched the bellows they used to use on the old open fire. Slugger fetched the air freshener.
"Here Colonel, you can use these to blow the candles out" said Steve.
"I've still got plenty of wind in my lungs" said the old Colonel, "I can manage."
"Yeah, Ron's still got plenty of wind but it's not in his lungs" answered Slugger.

Dora lit the candles. "Right " she said, "Now we'll sing happy birthday."
"Happy birthday to.......PHEW" They all sang.
"Sorry again" said Ron, must be all the excitement. "No it's your bowels" replied Steve, "I think you ought to see a doctor Ron."
"Slugger, open that window could you" asked the Colonel, "There's a terrible smell in here."
They all ducked down out of sight. "Crikey" whispered Steve, "He nearly did see a doctor, and a lot quicker than he thought."
That was close" said the Doctor, "Let's get back to the Tardis before we're discovered." They dashed back.
"Blimey" said Slugger, "I was still wearin' the same clothes."
"And I looked really frightening" said Ron.
"Yes, you havn't changed a bit" answered Steve.
"Well you looked really handsome Steve" said Dora, "You aged well." Steve blushed.
"Yeah" answered Ron, "Amazing how facelifts must have improved over the years."
"Hope underpants have improved over the years as well" replied Slugger, "Otherwise there wouldn't have been much left of
yours Ron."
"I thought you looked pretty too Dora" said Steve. The Doctor gave an embarrassed smile. This time it was Dora's turn to blush.

"'Ere" said Ron, "Just realised, me twinges in me back have gone."
"Well you know what they say" said the Doctor, "Times a great healer."
"Now come on Doctor, we've got to get home" said Dora."I'll just make a few adjustments to this circuit board again" replied
the Doctor." Right, that's it, all done. O.K. Slugger, you can sit on that button again."
"'Ere, how come I get to do all the work" replied Slugger. And off they went again.
"Right, we've landed" said the Doctor. Ron looked out of the door.
"See anything?" asked Steve.
"Yeah," said Ron. "I can see the lightning tree.  I was expecting to see a sapling, and two women pushing prams across the yard
both with babies in, one wearing a funny woolen hat and the other one smoking a pipe."

"I've told you before" bellowed the Colonel marching towards them, "You can't park that horsebox thingy there."
"Oh Uncle" cried Dora, rushing towards him, "It's you."
"Well who did you expect to see" he replied, "The Queen of Sheba?"
"Wouldn't have been surprised" said Slugger.
"Good Lord" said the Colonel, "Why's Ron doing a sort of rain dance in front of the Lightning tree."
"Just reminiscing" answered Ron. Suddenly Ron's feet scraped a furrow in the ground.
"What's that?" said the Colonel, "Good gracious, it's a bullet. A German one by the look of it."
"Can I have it?" asked Ron. "Here you are" said the Colonel. "Didn't know you were an accumulator of militeria."
"Nah," said Slugger, "'Ee just collects bits from the war."

"I'm so glad to see you Uncle" said Dora.
"Well I'm not thinking of popping off at the moment" he replied. "Plenty of life left in this old dog yet."
There was a loud noise. VWORP, VWORP, VWORP. They all turned around. The Tardis had disappeared. Dora gave a little wave
and smiled.
"Well I never" said the Colonel, "He's gone."
"Yes, but he said he'll be back in 50 years time" said Steve. "He's got some exterminating to do then."
"Good Lord" said the Colonel," didn't realise he worked for Rentokill. They must be very busy."

Suddenly Callie arrived on her pushbike. "Hello Slugger" she said "I've had a busy day at school today doing my exams. First
I had a one hour test on my logarithms."
"Blimey" said Slugger, I didn't even know you were studying joinery."
"Then after break I was tested on what I knew about Brahms and Liszt."
"Oh Slugger could have helped you there" said Ron, "Especially if he'd had a few bottles of his home made cider."
"Then afterwards" said Callie," I had to write a four page essay on Billy the kid. I struggled a bit with that one."
"I'm not surprised" replied Slugger, "I mean you know all about horses and donkeys helping out here a bit, but we've never
had a goat."
"Tomorrow my exams all about Sir Francis Drake " exclaimed Callie.
"'Ere, did you know" said Slugger, "Ee was a lot shorter than most people think."
"Blimey" said Ron. "Sometimes your knowledge amazes me Slugs."
"Yeah" said Slugger, "Ee was a really funny man, great comedian, never knew 'eed been knighted though."
"Take my last statement back" sighed Ron.

"Anything interesting happened here today Steve?" asked Callie.
"No, just the usual" replied Steve, putting his hands in his pockets, "Except for when we travelled back in time in a police box
to World War 2 and got shot at by a German fighter plane, and then went forward in time to the Colonel's 100th birthday bash."
"No need to be sarcastic" said Callie. I only asked. And off she went in a huff.

"Thing is" said Ron, cleaning the bullet with his handkerchief, "We never know what's coming in the future."

"The Doctor asked me to go with him" said Dora." To be his assistant."
"Blimey", said Slugger, "See what you mean Ron, "Didn't see that coming."
"He said what" said Steve angrily.
"He said that he'd been lonely since his last travelling companion Sarah Jane left. He said he needed some female company. He
could show me the planets and the universe, how it evolved, all its variations, how it adapted. He said he could show me things
other men couldn't."
"Yeah, I bet he did" said Ron. "Still, don't worry Steve, when he comes back in 50 years time he'll be too busy messing about
with the Daleks to mess around with Dora."

Steve flew at Ron, they started grappling, Slugger dived in quickly and pulled them apart.
"Right, you go over to the barn Ron" he said, "There's plenty of mucking out needs doing in there."
Ron grinned and ambled towards the barn singing "I'm just a jealous guy."
"You alright son?" asked Slugger.
"Yes, thanks Slugs" replied Steve, regaining his composure.

"So why didn't you go with him?" asked Steve.

Dora looked across at Ron, sitting on a bale of hay puffing on a cigarette, Slugger beckoning him to fill up the wheelbarrow.
The Colonel walking past shaking his head.

"Because I don't like change" she replied.

                                                                               THE END

Cut out the strong to help the weak