PART 3
The Tardis landed. Slugger poked his head out of the door. "All clear" he shouted." We're back at Follyfoot."
"What, no Roman soldiers marching down the yard or Viking ships on the lake" said Ron.
They made their way to the house. They could hear a lot of noise coming from inside. Their five heads peered through the window.
Inside a party was going on.
"Come on Colonel" said an old looking Slugger, "Get ready to cut your cake. It's not every day you're 100."
A still lovely looking Dora came in with a gas lighter.
"'Scuse me" said an old looking Ron, still with a mop of ginger hair, as he passed wind. "Must've been that cabbage soup I had
for starters and the prunes I had for dessert."
"'Ang on " said Slugger, "Don't light up yet girl or you'll blow the whole bloomin farm up."
Slugger wafted his apron about. "Crikey" said a still handsome Steve, "Even the candles are wilting."
"Not surprised" replied Slugger, holding his nose.
Steve fetched the bellows they used to use on the old open fire. Slugger fetched the air freshener.
"Here Colonel, you can use these to blow the candles out" said Steve.
"I've still got plenty of wind in my lungs" said the old Colonel, "I can manage."
"Yeah, Ron's still got plenty of wind but it's not in his lungs" answered Slugger.
Dora lit the candles. "Right " she said, "Now we'll sing happy birthday."
"Happy birthday to.......PHEW" They all sang.
"Sorry again" said Ron, must be all the excitement. "No it's your bowels" replied Steve, "I think you ought to see a doctor Ron."
"Slugger, open that window could you" asked the Colonel, "There's a terrible smell in here."
They all ducked down out of sight. "Crikey" whispered Steve, "He nearly did see a doctor, and a lot quicker than he thought."
That was close" said the Doctor, "Let's get back to the Tardis before we're discovered." They dashed back.
"Blimey" said Slugger, "I was still wearin' the same clothes."
"And I looked really frightening" said Ron.
"Yes, you havn't changed a bit" answered Steve.
"Well you looked really handsome Steve" said Dora, "You aged well." Steve blushed.
"Yeah" answered Ron, "Amazing how facelifts must have improved over the years."
"Hope underpants have improved over the years as well" replied Slugger, "Otherwise there wouldn't have been much left of
yours Ron."
"I thought you looked pretty too Dora" said Steve. The Doctor gave an embarrassed smile. This time it was Dora's turn to blush.
"'Ere" said Ron, "Just realised, me twinges in me back have gone."
"Well you know what they say" said the Doctor, "Times a great healer."
"Now come on Doctor, we've got to get home" said Dora."I'll just make a few adjustments to this circuit board again" replied
the Doctor." Right, that's it, all done. O.K. Slugger, you can sit on that button again."
"'Ere, how come I get to do all the work" replied Slugger. And off they went again.
"Right, we've landed" said the Doctor. Ron looked out of the door.
"See anything?" asked Steve.
"Yeah," said Ron. "I can see the lightning tree. I was expecting to see a sapling, and two women pushing prams across the yard
both with babies in, one wearing a funny woolen hat and the other one smoking a pipe."
"I've told you before" bellowed the Colonel marching towards them, "You can't park that horsebox thingy there."
"Oh Uncle" cried Dora, rushing towards him, "It's you."
"Well who did you expect to see" he replied, "The Queen of Sheba?"
"Wouldn't have been surprised" said Slugger.
"Good Lord" said the Colonel, "Why's Ron doing a sort of rain dance in front of the Lightning tree."
"Just reminiscing" answered Ron. Suddenly Ron's feet scraped a furrow in the ground.
"What's that?" said the Colonel, "Good gracious, it's a bullet. A German one by the look of it."
"Can I have it?" asked Ron. "Here you are" said the Colonel. "Didn't know you were an accumulator of militeria."
"Nah," said Slugger, "'Ee just collects bits from the war."
"I'm so glad to see you Uncle" said Dora.
"Well I'm not thinking of popping off at the moment" he replied. "Plenty of life left in this old dog yet."
There was a loud noise. VWORP, VWORP, VWORP. They all turned around. The Tardis had disappeared. Dora gave a little wave
and smiled.
"Well I never" said the Colonel, "He's gone."
"Yes, but he said he'll be back in 50 years time" said Steve. "He's got some exterminating to do then."
"Good Lord" said the Colonel," didn't realise he worked for Rentokill. They must be very busy."
Suddenly Callie arrived on her pushbike. "Hello Slugger" she said "I've had a busy day at school today doing my exams. First
I had a one hour test on my logarithms."
"Blimey" said Slugger, I didn't even know you were studying joinery."
"Then after break I was tested on what I knew about Brahms and Liszt."
"Oh Slugger could have helped you there" said Ron, "Especially if he'd had a few bottles of his home made cider."
"Then afterwards" said Callie," I had to write a four page essay on Billy the kid. I struggled a bit with that one."
"I'm not surprised" replied Slugger, "I mean you know all about horses and donkeys helping out here a bit, but we've never
had a goat."
"Tomorrow my exams all about Sir Francis Drake " exclaimed Callie.
"'Ere, did you know" said Slugger, "Ee was a lot shorter than most people think."
"Blimey" said Ron. "Sometimes your knowledge amazes me Slugs."
"Yeah" said Slugger, "Ee was a really funny man, great comedian, never knew 'eed been knighted though."
"Take my last statement back" sighed Ron.
"Anything interesting happened here today Steve?" asked Callie.
"No, just the usual" replied Steve, putting his hands in his pockets, "Except for when we travelled back in time in a police box
to World War 2 and got shot at by a German fighter plane, and then went forward in time to the Colonel's 100th birthday bash."
"No need to be sarcastic" said Callie. I only asked. And off she went in a huff.
"Thing is" said Ron, cleaning the bullet with his handkerchief, "We never know what's coming in the future."
"The Doctor asked me to go with him" said Dora." To be his assistant."
"Blimey", said Slugger, "See what you mean Ron, "Didn't see that coming."
"He said what" said Steve angrily.
"He said that he'd been lonely since his last travelling companion Sarah Jane left. He said he needed some female company. He
could show me the planets and the universe, how it evolved, all its variations, how it adapted. He said he could show me things
other men couldn't."
"Yeah, I bet he did" said Ron. "Still, don't worry Steve, when he comes back in 50 years time he'll be too busy messing about
with the Daleks to mess around with Dora."
Steve flew at Ron, they started grappling, Slugger dived in quickly and pulled them apart.
"Right, you go over to the barn Ron" he said, "There's plenty of mucking out needs doing in there."
Ron grinned and ambled towards the barn singing "I'm just a jealous guy."
"You alright son?" asked Slugger.
"Yes, thanks Slugs" replied Steve, regaining his composure.
"So why didn't you go with him?" asked Steve.
Dora looked across at Ron, sitting on a bale of hay puffing on a cigarette, Slugger beckoning him to fill up the wheelbarrow.
The Colonel walking past shaking his head.
"Because I don't like change" she replied.
THE END