PART 4
Lord Beck was alone at Beck House. He'd been drinking champagne all afternoon. He slumped back in
his chair and fell into a drunken sleep, his shattered glass lay on the floor all around him.
Meanwhile back at Follyfoot the guests were all enjoying themselves. Dora looked at Steve and smiled.
Steve looked at Dora and returned the smile.
"Right" said the Master of Ceremonies, "Your attention please, I'd just like to say a few words. Firstly,
I'd like to thank you all for coming here today."
"That was no problem" shouted Slugger, "We live 'ere anyway."
"And secondly, to thank the lovely bridesmaids, Hazel and Callie.
Hazel opened her mouth to speak.
"Thank you so much" said Callie, "It's been a pleasure. I must say, it's the first time I've ever been
invited to a wedding, I can't think why. I caught the bouquet as well, that's good luck isn't it? Means I'm
going to get married next doesn't it? Wonder who It'll be. I bet he'll be handsome. And rich. And......"
"Oh gawd, she's off on one" said Slugger.
Ten minutes later
"And the church was really lovely, Lovely stained glass windows. I think I'd like to get married in a church like that. I liked the flower arrangements too. I've started learning at school how do do them. It's very tricky.
So thank you all everyone, I've really enjoyed myself. And now a word from Hazel. Hazel.....Wake up Hazel.
She's fast asleep. Must be all the excitement. Too much for her."
"Right" said the M.C. Yawning, "And in conclusion I'd like to thank Slugger for making the wedding cake."
"Eh" they all cried in unison rising from their seats.
"Sorry", said the M.C. looking at his slip of paper, "That should be thanks to Slugger for making the
arrangements with the caterers to order the wedding cake."
The guests all sighed with relief and sat down.
"Right", continued the M.C. "And now a toast to the bride and groom- To Mr and Mrs Maddox."
"To Mr and Mrs Maddox" they all replied.
The gorgeous Dora Maddox was a blue eyed blonde in her early twenties.
She'd known her husband for about six months. So now there were two Dora Maddox's, coincidentally, in the
family.
"'Ere" said Slugger, "If they start a family and have a girl and call it Dora, we won't know where the
bloomin' 'ell we all are. Don't know 'ow 'ees gonna get on, she must be 35 years younger than he is."
"Yeah" replied Ron, "Good job he 'aint got a pacemaker."
"'Eel probably need one in a couple of weeks" said Slugger.
"And now" Said the M.C," A few words from the best man, the grooms brother."
"Well" he said, "I'd just like to wish them both a long and happy life."
"One of them's already had that" shouted Ron.
"And to wish them both all the best for the future" he continued.
"Get a move on" yelled Ron, "It's past 'is bedtime."
"Yeah" hollered Slugger, "'Ere, your ten boxes of vitamin pills arrived today, they're in the top of your
wardrobe, if you've got the energy to get them down."
"Order, Order,!! bellowed the M.C.
"I'll 'ave the soup followed by the smoked salmon" Shouted Slugger.
"Yeah, I'll 'ave the same" whooped Ron. "And none of them burnt bits of toast floating in me soup, we get
enough burnt toast 'ere as it is."
"Yeah" said Slugger, we get.......Ere, what do you mean, we get enough burnt toast 'ere as it is.
What's wrong wif me toast."
"Well" answered Steve, "That pile you made this morning had two things in common with the sausages.
It was black. And hard. Rock hard."
"'Ere, are you knockin' me sausages now" replied Slugger.
"Wouldn't want to do that" smiled Steve, "I'd end up with broken fingers."
"Blimey, now 'ees sayin' me sausages are too overdone" said Slugger.
"Too overdone" said Steve, "Well, lets just say a sledgehammer would come in handy at breakfast time."
"Nah, we tried a sledgehammer once" said Ron, "Went straight through the plate, through a metal tray,
straight through the table, chopping it in half, and left a massive great hole in the floor.
But the sausages remained intact."
"That's enough" Roared the Colonel, silencing the guffaws echoing around the room, "This is supposed to
be a wedding reception, not a slanging match."
"Right," continued the best man, "I'd like to finish by saying I never thought a year ago I'd be standing up
making a wedding speech about my brother. Who'd have thought that Pru would have died so suddenly
and that Arthur would fall in love and marry his secretary, ironically also named Dora" said the Colonel.
"Please raise your glasses and lets toast good luck to Arthur and Dora."
And as the guests toasted them, the Colonel glanced across to Dora, Arthurs bride, who was smiling at
Steve again across the room.
"Heaven only knows" said the Colonel under his breath, "I think he's going to need it."
THE END