Back at Follyfoot the Colonel arrived. "Gather round everyone" he said, "I've something to tell you. Right" he continued, "I've
decided while Dora's away we're going to decorate her bedroom, it's not been done for ages."
"By we, I presume that's us" replied Steve.
"Well, yes, but as I thought of the idea I come into the equation as well" said the Colonel. "Now, as Dora's away camping, I
looked in the decorator's merchants and found some wallpaper with lots of different tent designs on it. I thought it would be rather novel.
So, this morning, when Steve went shopping for toilet rolls I got him to pick the wallpaper and paste and all the tools up to do the job.
I must say I thought those 24 toilet rolls we bought last week would have lasted longer. Well I'll leave you to it, you've got three
days to finish the job before Dora gets back."
"I dunno" chuntered Slugger, "Butcher, baker, Joiner, plumber, mucker outer, now decorator. Jack of all trades."
"Not forgetting purveyor of Slugger's Gourmet Baked Beans and Brussels Bangers" exclaimed Ron. "I 'ear Setlers Antacid tablets are going to sponsor 'em."
"Well we'd better make a start" said Slugger. "The sooner it's done the better. Now, we'll run this operation like clockwork.
Everything will be done down to the last detail. Teamwork is the key.
First, Steve Hazel and Ron, you strip the old wallpaper off.
Then Steve, you measure the wall.
Hazel, you roll the wallpaper on the paste table.
Steve, you mark it where it needs cutting.
Ron, you cut it.
Steve, you paste it.
Ron, you hang it.
Hazel, you look after the tools and pass them to the lads as they need them."
" 'Ang about" said Ron, "Where does this teamwork come in? What do you do Slugs?".
"I organise everything and inspect what you've done" replied Slugger. "If anything's wrong I'll tell you and you do it again."
"Blimey" answered Ron, "When you said teamwork was the key I didn't realise you were going to lock us in the room and not let us
out untill we've finished."
Back at the tent Dora and Callie were ready to go into town to get supplies.
"Right Callie" said Dora, "We've got to carry them back here, so we'll only buy things that are really essential, things that we really
need." "Righto" replied Callie. "We'll make a list" said Dora. "I'll start. Cream cakes." "Bars of chocolate" said Callie. "Biscuits, not
broken" said Dora. "Crisps" said Callie. "Black eye mascara" said Dora."This weeks copy of 'Jackie' magazine" said Callie.
"One apple" said Dora.
"One apple" replied Callie. "If you don't mind me saying that's a rather specific amount Dora. How do you know I don't want one?".
"It's not for me" explained Dora, "It's to tempt Warrior with if he comes back tonight, or should I say whoever's pretending to
"Ah, good thinking Dora" answered Callie.
"Right, that'll do" exclaimed Dora. "Oh, just a minute, we need something to drink." "Dandelion and Burdock" replied Callie.
Dora scribbled it down. "O.K. let's go then" said Dora, "We'll have fish and chips in town."
"And ice cream" said Callie. "And doughnuts" enthused Dora. "And Ribena" continued Callie.
"Hang on" said Dora, "We'd better put Alka-Seltzer tablets on our list of essentials as well."
Back at Follyfoot they srarted stripping the old wallpaper off. "We'll start with that piece" said Slugger, "It's almost 'angin' off, should
come off easy." Ron put the stepladder in position and climbed up. He took hold of the paper and gave it a good yank. The paper
came straight off, Ron fell backwards and onto Steve, his head sticking out of the wallpaper.
"Blimey, lucky I fell on you Steve" he said, who was writhing in agony, "I could've 'ad a nasty accident there."
"Gawd" replied Slugger, "It's like workin' wif Laurel 'n 'Ardy."
Slugger was right. The old paper came off easily.
"Right, let's get the new paper on now" said Slugger. Hazel laid the first piece on the table. Just then in came the Colonel.
"Well I must say you've made a great start" he said. He bent over Ron to look at the wallpaper.
"I think I made a good choice there" he said, "It looks very nice." Ron quickly cut the paper. "Ready for you to paste Steve" he said.
"Oh gawd" exclaimed Slugger.
Hazel started laughing.
"You've cut the Colonel's bloomin' tie in 'alf" said Slugger.
"My tie" said the Colonel, holding the end up. "You blundering buffoon Stryker" shouted the Colonel.
"I've heard short ties are in fashion" said Steve.
"It was one of my favourite ones, I got it off Tockwith Market."
"Oh well, I expect you got it for a snip" said Ron.
Steve pasted the wallpaper enthusiastically, but with a bit too much gusto. The paint brush went straight up the Colonel's shirt.
"Be careful with that brush" exclaimed the Colonel. Ron took the piece of tie the Colonel was holding and put it on his shirt and
patted it in place.
"There, nobody'll notice now" said Ron.
Hazel couldn't stop giggling.
"I'm going to get cleaned up" said the Colonel. He turned round, but slipped on some paste that had dripped onto the floor.
He crashed into the paste table, the bucket that was on the edge toppled over, the Colonel was covered in goo.
"Are you alright Colonel" said Hazel, trying to pull herself together.
"He looks a bit pasty to me" commented Ron.
"I'm going" said an irate Colonel, "I'll leave you to it."
" 'Ere, 'ang on a second, Steve's missed a bit on this corner" said Slugger, "Could you just wipe your 'ead on it on your way out Colonel."
"What a mess the Colonel's in" exclaimed Steve.
"Yeah, still, look on the bright side" replied Ron, " 'Ee can't get any worse."
Just as the Colonel went outside he passed a wheelbarrow piled high with straw. A huge gust of wind suddenly blew the straw all
over him, sticking to the glue.
"Blimey" said Ron, "I take that last statement back."
Hazel was in hysterics.
"Last time I saw anything like that" said Steve, "Was when I saw the Straw Man in the Tockwith Player's production of 'The Wizard Of Oz'."
Back at the tent Dora and Callie had returned from shopping in the town where they'd had their lunch.
"I feel sick" groaned Callie. "Do you think I put too much salt and vinegar on?".
"No I don't think so" replied Dora. "I mean, you had to put a considerable amount on to cover a large haddock, large portion of chips,
a large portion of mushy peas, two pickled eggs and a large battered sausage. And you didn't put any on your ice cream."
"You think I've eaten too much don't you Dora?" said Callie.
"It's a possibility" suggested Dora.
"O.K. then, tomorrow I'll just have one pickled egg" she said.
Meanwhile at Follyfoot Ron had hung the first piece of wallpaper. It had taken him ages. He'd got it dead level using a plumbob and
meticulously brushed any air bubbles out of it and neatly trimmed the top and bottom.
"There" he proudly exclaimed, "You're watching an artist at work. A perfectionist."
"Just a minute" said Slugger. "The pattern's supposed to be tents."
"They look like wine glasses" said Hazel.
"You muttonhead Ron" said Steve, "You've hung it upside down."
"Oh gawd" cringed Ron, "Do you think anyone will notice?".
"Well we have" replied Slugger. "Get it down."
"That's the trouble with you lot" drawled Ron, "You pay too much attention to detail.".
That evening Dora and Callie lay in wait for Warrior. "Do you think he'll come Dora?" she said. "I hope so" replied Dora.
They waited. Then, ten minutes later, they saw the white bloodstained equine trotting towards them in the moonlight.
"There he is" said Callie.
Dora got the apple and the rope.