I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Had to change my Google Account password again. That's the third name our cat's had.
70% of our planet is covered in water. The other 30% is covered in idiots.
My doctor told me jogging could add years to my life. He was right, I feel ten years older already.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
I used to be in a band, we were called "Lost Dog", you probably saw our posters.
My I.Q. tests just came in and I'm really relieved, thank God they're negative.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down.