A lady is picking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket but can't find one big enough for her family. She calls over an
assistant and says "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
"No" replied the young assistant, "They're dead."
What do hippie horses eat?
Hay, man....
A man in a fish restaurant is waiting for his meal, the waiter comes over and says "Sorry for the delay, it shouldn't be too long now."
"That's o.k." he replied, "What sort of bait are you using?"
Computer users are divided into three types.
Novice- They worry they may press a wrong key and break their computer.
Intermediate- After they've pressed a wrong key and broke it they don't know how to fix it.
Expert- People who break other peoples computers.
Three animals, a hawk, a lion and a skunk are arguing which is the most fearsome.
The hawk says it's him as he's the fastest.
The lion says it's him as he's the strongest.
The skunk says it's him as he's the worst smelling.
Just then a bear came along and swallowed them all, hawk lion and stinker.