Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 31334 times)

Offline Jane

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #45 on: May 01, 2015, 06:38:00 AM »
Thanks MZ, I enjoyed that.  ;D. Hope you did too Jane.  >41<

 >366< MZ and no sorry Pen I think it's rubbish!  >104<  >31< >32<  :D

Offline Pen.

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #46 on: May 01, 2015, 08:03:36 PM »
>366< MZ and no sorry Pen I think it's rubbish!  >104<  >31< >32<  :D

 >49<
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Offline pete.r.

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #47 on: May 04, 2015, 11:51:31 AM »
A lady is picking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket but can't find one big enough for her family. She calls over an
assistant and says "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
"No" replied the young assistant, "They're dead."

What do hippie horses eat?
Hay, man....

A man in a fish restaurant is waiting for his meal, the waiter comes over and says "Sorry for the delay, it shouldn't be too long now."
"That's o.k." he replied, "What sort of bait are you using?"

Computer users are divided into three types.
Novice- They worry they may press a wrong key and break their computer.
Intermediate- After they've pressed a wrong key and broke it they don't know how to fix it.
Expert- People who break other peoples computers.

Three animals, a hawk, a lion and a skunk are arguing which is the most fearsome.
The hawk says it's him as he's the fastest.
The lion says it's him as he's the strongest.
The skunk says it's him as he's the worst smelling.
Just then a bear came along and swallowed them all, hawk lion and stinker.
Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline Jane

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #48 on: May 04, 2015, 06:29:29 PM »

 ;D ;D Love the last one  >104<


Offline FollyFootfan1689

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #49 on: May 04, 2015, 07:26:51 PM »
Alll brilliant jokes there, especially the hippy horse one, reminded me of a film I saw last week about 'Hay man' types!  ;D ;D ;D


Thanks Loopy for letting me borrow the caps!

Offline MidnightZodiac

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #50 on: May 04, 2015, 08:36:11 PM »
Today's date according to my watch is 04.05.15.... So, May the Fourth be With You.
"We shape horses, then they shape us, but, we must be what we want our horses to become."

Offline Pen.

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #51 on: May 04, 2015, 11:05:30 PM »
Today's date according to my watch is 04.05.15.... So, May the Fourth be With You.

Yup. Happy Star Wars Day.
Rainbow chasers of the world unite!

Offline Loopy

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #52 on: May 04, 2015, 11:07:20 PM »
  >85< Same to you both   >99<


Someone's got to care

Offline Jane

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #53 on: May 05, 2015, 06:46:46 AM »
 >14<

Offline MidnightZodiac

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #54 on: May 10, 2015, 06:35:45 AM »
I rode me bike into Paris the other day while wearing a shell-suit and bling... I was taking part in the 'Tawdry France'.
"We shape horses, then they shape us, but, we must be what we want our horses to become."

Offline Jane

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #55 on: May 10, 2015, 07:18:14 AM »
 >16<  ;D

Offline Pen.

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #56 on: May 10, 2015, 11:30:57 AM »
 >16< >16< >16<

But brownie points for use of the word tawdry in a joke.
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Offline pete.r.

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #57 on: May 10, 2015, 03:43:55 PM »
I Turned into a cat earlier. Don't ask meow.

What do we want?
More acronyms.
When do we want them?
ASAP.

The inventor of distorted mirrors has just died. His funeral will be held in asymmetry.

When asked by journalists how he would be celebrating the Tories surprise majority in the General Election David Cameron replied
"I intend to go out and get absolutely Cleggless."

My blond girlfriend has 3 hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone. The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film.
Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline Jane

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #58 on: May 10, 2015, 05:54:00 PM »
More  >16< >16<  ;D

Offline Lord Charles

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #59 on: May 10, 2015, 06:32:14 PM »
Liked the 'Cleglesss' one!   ;)
Long live Follyfoot!