Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 15049 times)

Offline pete.r.

  • Steeplechasing Star
  • ******
  • Posts: 13514
Jokes
« on: December 31, 2014, 06:27:28 PM »
My last year's new year's resolution was to lose 20 lbs. by the end of the year.
"I've still got 30 lbs. to go.

Secondly I decided to eat more local fresh vegetables and produce, however this idea was scuppered when my next door neighbour
decided to put a fence around his garden.

This year my new year's resolution is to be more considerate to my next door neighbours. In fact I'm going round tomorrow
morning at 4.00a.m. to tell them.

Another of my resolution's is to take more risks.
I'm going to eat Quality Street chocolates without looking at the flavours first.
Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline Jane

  • 3 Day Event Champion
  • *******
  • Posts: 42587
Re: Jokes
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2015, 11:47:26 AM »
 >104<

Offline Tony

  • Western Rider
  • *****
  • Posts: 2658
Re: Jokes
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2015, 01:24:22 PM »
 ;D
You don't stop riding when you get old - you get old when you stop riding.

Offline Loopy

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 34318
  • Follyfoot - My day in the sun!
Re: Jokes
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2015, 12:16:10 AM »
 >14<


Someone's got to care

Offline pete.r.

  • Steeplechasing Star
  • ******
  • Posts: 13514
Re: Jokes
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2015, 07:51:51 PM »
So I said to the wife this morning "My new years resolution this year is to smoke less cigarettes."
"That's a good idea" she replied, "Why don't you just have one after each time we've made love?"
"I just want to cut down" I said, "I don't want to stop altogether."
Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline Jane

  • 3 Day Event Champion
  • *******
  • Posts: 42587
Re: Jokes
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2015, 08:25:30 PM »
 >104<

Offline Loopy

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 34318
  • Follyfoot - My day in the sun!
Re: Jokes
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2015, 10:34:24 PM »
... "I just want to cut down" I said, "I don't want to stop altogether."

Somehow I knew that was coming   ;D ;D


Someone's got to care

Offline Jean Dawson

  • Cross Country Rider
  • ****
  • Posts: 843
  • Aim for the sky even if you reach the mountain top
Re: Jokes
« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2015, 10:18:28 PM »
My partner said to me "I,m getting too fat, nothing fits me". I said "I know what you can do". "What"? he asked. " I replied" Get bigger clothes".  >104<
Will you come back.?

Offline Loopy

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 34318
  • Follyfoot - My day in the sun!
Re: Jokes
« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2015, 11:52:44 PM »
 ;D Jean


Someone's got to care

Offline Jane

  • 3 Day Event Champion
  • *******
  • Posts: 42587
Re: Jokes
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2015, 06:54:17 AM »
 >104<

Offline Sabrina

  • Administrator
  • ******
  • Posts: 8290
  • Follyfoot rules OK!!
Re: Jokes
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2015, 12:52:41 AM »
 ;D >41< Good jokes everyone!
Cheers,
Sabrina
______________________________
Dreams come true if you want them to...

Offline pete.r.

  • Steeplechasing Star
  • ******
  • Posts: 13514
Re: Jokes
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2015, 04:55:44 PM »
"Right" said the dairy farmer to his wife who was a dizzy blonde, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows
this morning, I have to go out, I drove a nail into the rail above the cow's stall in the barn so you know which cow it is."
"O.K." She said. "The man arrives. "You must be the insemination man" she says, she takes him down to the barn and they walk along
the row of cows. "This is the one" she says. The man is terribly impressed." And can you tell me what's the nail for?" he said.
She turns and walks away and with complete confidence, says over her shoulder....."I assume it's to hang your trousers on."
Cut out the strong to help the weak

Offline Jane

  • 3 Day Event Champion
  • *******
  • Posts: 42587
Re: Jokes
« Reply #12 on: March 13, 2015, 09:08:26 PM »
 :o  ;D ;D

Offline Loopy

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 34318
  • Follyfoot - My day in the sun!
Re: Jokes
« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2015, 10:33:02 PM »
 >104<


Someone's got to care

Offline FollyFootfan1689

  • Show Jumping Champion
  • ******
  • Posts: 5801
  • 2nd Generation Follyfooter
Re: Jokes
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2015, 11:58:09 AM »
Oh Lor'!  :o ;D


Thanks Loopy for letting me borrow the caps!