A story in four parts
PART 1
Dora Slugger and Ron were in the barn mucking out. Ron was sat on a bale of hay, strumming his
guitar, more like mucking about. Dora and Slugger were sweeping and shovelling away,
"Reckon I'd have made a good pop star" said Ron, "What do you think Dora?"
"No" she replied, "You're not putting enough energy into it, there's not enough movement (Throwing
a hint to Ron to get on with some work).
"I'll show you how it's done" said Slugger, and he picked up his brush and began playing it Air Guitar
style, moving round with a speed that belied his years. "Watcha think Ron" he said. "Nah, replied
Ron, "You've got your right hand all wrong, it's in the wrong position."
"Ow's that then Ron " said Slugger. "Well", he replied, "It's holding the brushes bristles, they're all
covered in horse poo."
"Oh gawd" said Slugger, "What a mess." He dropped the brush and wiped his hand in some straw.
Suddenly a mouse ran out, disturbed by Slugger.
"AAARRGH" Shrieked Ron, jumping up and down.
"Ere Ron, that's brilliant" said Slugger. "You look just like a pop star now. You should be on
"Opportunity Knocks."
In through the door came the Colonel. "Is everything alright" he said, "What's that shouting, whats.....
Good Lord, why's Ron standing on top of that bale of hay brandishing his guitar above his head as
if he's about to bludgeon someone to death."
"Oh, er, morning Colonel" said Ron, a stupid smile on his face.
"Oh don't mind him, it's only a mouse he's seen" said Slugger. "Mind you it's the fastest he's moved
all week."
"Yes well yes,that I can well believe" the Colonel replied. "Good job it wasn't a rat. Actually," he said
"Rats are underrated. Just check your dictionary." He walked out, a mischevious glint in his eye.
"Ere, don't forget to ring Rentokil" shouted Ron, his eyes surveying the floor. Dora smiled.
"Oh Slugger" she said, "Your hand, what a mess."
"Don't suppose you've got a tissue on you Miss" said Slugger.
Ron climbed back down and started strumming his guitar, suddenly he burst into song.
"Sluggers worked really hard today,
Earning every penny.
But if he's making sandwiches for tea,
Tell him you don't want any."
Ron grinned. Slugger put his hand out as if asking for a handshake. Steve rushed into the barn.
"Dora" he shouted, "There's a man in the yard with a soldier wants to see you urgently."
"Blimey" said Ron, "That was quick, thought they'd just put mousetraps down, didn't realise they'd
send a sniper."
"No you don't understand" said Steve, "The mans got a horse called Soldier with him, he needs our
help."
"Tell him I'll be there in a few seconds" Dora replied, handing Slugger a pretty cotton handkerchief
with a nice floral design in the corner. It smelt nice, but wasn't to be for much longer.
"I'll give it you back when I've finished with it" said Slugger.
"Er, no, you can keep it" Dora replied, "I've got plenty."
Dora went into the yard, there was a man with a fairly large heavy black horse with a white blaze,
the man had dirty clothes on and looked rather swarthy. "Hello" he said, "My name's Norman Slack,
everyone calls me by my nickname, "Nutty". I work on my barge delivering coal, or I used to, I've
just retired. This here is Soldier, my barge horse, I've nowhere to keep him now, could you take him
in for me and give him a good home. He's worked hard all his life and deserves looking after now."
"Of course" said Dora, "He's lovely, come on Soldier, we've got a spare stable."
Later on back in the house, the Colonel had gone for a lie down.
Ron was sat in his chair, reading his newspaper. He had a pair of spectacles on, he actually looked
quite intelligent.
"You'll cop it if the Colonel sees you in his chair reading his paper" said Slugger.
"I don't think he'll see me " said Ron."
"What makes you say that" said Dora.
"Because I'm wearing his glasses" said Ron.
"Here's an interesting bit in the paper" said Ron, putting on a posh voice. "In the motoring section
it says that every two hours someone puts the wrong fuel in their car."
"Blimey," said Slugger, "Didn't realise there was that many women drivers about. "Ouch" he said
as Dora threw the book she was reading at him and knocked his hat off.
"Another interesting bit here from the Foreign Correspondent. He says why did the Japanese
Kamakaze pilots wear helmets."
"Probably in case they told their missus about women Kamakaze pilots driving" said Slugger rubbing
his head.
"Ere. this papers rubbish" said Ron throwing it on the floor, "There's no cartoon strips in it, it's only
fit for wrapping fish and chips in and for hanging on the toilet door when you want to wipe your "Arsenal won yesterday I see" said Slugger, looking at the sports headlines on the back page.
That evening Steve was having his supper, Slugger had done baked beans on toast, a huge pile of beans.
"Want some?" said Slugger to Ron and Dora. "No" they both said, peering over at Sluggers hand
which did actually look nice and clean again.
"They're fantastic" said Steve,"They've got a rather unusual taste. I think Slugger must have put
some herbs in them or something.
Ron gave a sickly smile. Dora just felt sickly.
"Anyhow" said Steve, shovelling the last spoonful in his mouth, "I'm off now to give Alex a gallop,
shouldn't be too long if the winds behind me" he said.
"Shouldn't think that'll be a problem" said Ron, judging by all the beans you've just eaten.
To be continued.......