Slugger was fidgeting in his seat when Ron suddenly said 'Aye Aye- look who just came in-I thought she was banned! Slugger turned and Bert gave him a thumbs up. Dora walked into the church carrying Jeff and her mouth dropped open as she spotted Kathy. She was going to tell her to get the heck out of there but Slugger said aloud 'Leave it girl'. Steve was relieved that the rain had stopped and the buckets had been removed. The organ was playing too and he and Milly processed slowly down the aisle to the strains of 'Moonlight and Roses'. She didn't notice Kathy as she had eyes only for her groom who stood waiting, a broad smile on his face. Steve did notice Kathy and glowered at her, she pulled a face behind his back.
Steve, Dora, Slugger and Ron held their breath when the congregation were asked if anyone knew of any reason why Slugger and Milly should not be married. Kathy did open her mouth but Bert whispered 'don't you dare!' Sluggers sister and Dora held hankies to their faces as the ceremony progressed. When the bridal party went to sign the register Kathy hissed 'Can we go now, I'm dying for a fag!'
'Not until the happy couple have gone outside for the photos- and then I insist you give them your best wishes.'
'I've already given them my wishes!' Kathy barged past Bert just as the organ struck up. Slugger laughed out loud and pointed at Kathy's back with his good hand 'Will yer look at that Mil?' Milly tried not to giggle but it was hard. Most people in the church now followed Sluggers example laughing aloud and pointing. Kathy's outfit was pale blue and the back was now emblazoned with a picture of a pig drawn in black felt tip pen and the words 'I am a nasty selfish pig' were underneath.' Kathy remembered that Bert had insisted that her outfit needed a good brush to bring it up to it's best. He had taken a long time over it. She went to the vicar and asked him what was funny about her dress and reluctantly he told her. Outside the church were some of Slugger's riding class making a guard of honour with riding crops. This done several of them picked up buckets and as Kathy, almost exploding with rage, went past they threw the contents, horse manure all over her. As it slid off her onto the ground her feet slipped and she sat down in it. ' Don't just stand there you great ninny, help me up!' she yelled at Bert.
'What- me in me best suit- I should cocoa.'
Milly was no longer laughing. 'Oh Slugger- that's my little sister. How unkind we've been!'
'Tit for tat I reckon gel- we're just about even.The vicar's wife who'd been cleaning up the church earlier now approached Kathy carrying an old blanket. 'You had best come with me my dear, you can have a shower and I'll lend you some clothes. I'm afraid you'll miss the photos. ' You're welcome to come to the bungalow later Kath' said Milly prepared now to offer an olive branch.'I'll wait here for you.' said Bert who was now also feeling a bit sorry for Kathy. 'Come on folks, show's over- let's get these photos done then we can go have some grub.' Slugger said. Hazel detached herself from the group and asked one of the local lads to give her a lift back to see what she could do about the wedding cake. As they stood in front of the camera for a group photo Steve said to Slugger ' I suppose that's where you were this morning- setting all this up. Then including Bert in the conversation he said 'You're a couple of old rogues!'